The Daily Routine

While it was nice to have some caregiver help, and mom becoming more cooperative, there were some things that at first only I would be able to do for mom. These concerned her medicines, bathroom time, and personal hygiene. If anyone thought that doing these things for a child was frustrating enough, they have no idea what it's like to do them for a parent.

Mom's daily medicinal regimen consisted of eleven prescription drugs and two supplements every day. Originally, they were divided-up between three intervals of morning, noon, and evening, but eventually had to change to twice a day because it was just so difficult to administer them. While mom still had some idea of what was going on with her, she was not always agreeable to taking medications in a graduated way. In fact, she hated it! Who wouldn't, really. For me, it was a challenge and struggle every day.

Each morning, mom would wake up and wait for me to help her to the bathroom. In the beginning, she slept on the living room couch--in a sitting position most times. For some reason, being anywhere near horizontal frightened her terribly. She once told me that when she lived on her own, she slept this way most of the time. Anyway, I would bring her the walker that she used and placed it in front of her. Then I would stand directly in front of her, carefully grab both of her hands securely, and with her help she would come to a standing position. I would have to wait a few moments for her to catch her breath and balance, and then made the slow walk to the bathroom. In the beginning, she would tell me to leave and take care of her needs herself, but later it became too difficult for her to maneuver around or try to sit down or stand up again. Since we had a "booster seat" for the commode, it made things much easier for her. I soon found out that what everyone else takes for granted is a major chore for an elderly person to do.

Once she managed to return to the living room--this was where she wanted to be, she would sit down and watch some television shows. I would then start breakfast, and prepare her morning meds. In the beginning, mom had little trouble taking a whole pill and was very cooperative about it. She would take them one at a time, have a little food, and then relax with a small cup of coffee or tea. As time went by, however, she began to fight taking any pills, so I had to resort to crushing them individually and mixing them with food or liquids. She absolutely hated it, and would sometimes spit it out. Then I would have to start all over again. This went on for a several days until I was able to find a caregiver who I could trust to help me with her needs. That's when I decided to seek a private caregiver, and one that could possibly stay overnight.

Her name was Janina, an angel sent by God! Even though it took some time for mom to get used to her, the facts were that she loved to cook ( absolutely great cook!), she did not mind cleaning, and could perform everything that was required for mom with great care and love. She also got along great with the hospice staff. My prayers were answered, at least for a short time.